Office Raider and I are real estate geeks. We like to read all of the sales ads and imagine our futures as real estate moguls. Along the way, we've learned to decode a few of the jargon terms that are used by realtors to lure unsuspecting buyers.
Should you be on the hunt for your dream home soon, read on.
Real Estate Jargon Terms
Charming : Really f*ing small
Needs TLC: The place is falling apart
Converted one bedroom: Watch for the styrofoam wall that someone's uncle put up in half an hour to trick you into thinking that you're not buying a studio
Exposed brick: You'd better hope that your drunk friends don't wipe out and scratch their elbows against your walls
Custom made Murphy bed: The place is so damn tiny that your bed has to live in the wall
Pre-War building: Cute building exterior, nice interior moldings, crappy shower pressure
Post-War building: Can anyone say communist influenced architecture? No offense to communists, but let's face it, they're not so sharp on aesthetics
Great starter home: The place might be kind of crappy
No pets: Mean people are in charge of the building rules
Easy board: The board wants to get it on with you
Walk-up: For lord's sake, DO NOT skrimp on paying movers
Sleeping loft: Tell your one-night-stand not to stand up
3 comments:
Having just bought a home here I can tell you the best one we saw. The newspaper listing read (among other fun details) "pet urine smell can be removed." Needless to say, we did not go in.
Junior One Bedroom = look for that styrofoam wall again
Cathedral Ceilings = your heating bill will be in the quadruple digits
Quaint = former tenement
New Roof = water damage throughout the walls and floors
i take issue with the water pressure. i live in prewar and enjoy consistent strong water pressure. i'm not leaving my address however since i think it's a mistake.
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