Is everyone sitting down? I just heard the most RIDICULOUS nonsense on Eyewitness News. I know I'm not supposed to watch Eyewitness news because it's corny and is always freaking out all the dumb people. However, I wasn't really watching it, it was on in the background so when I heard the term "Purity Ball" come bouncing out of Sade Baderinwa's mouth I was all ears, and not in a good way.
What is a Purity Ball, you ask? It's like a freakin' prom/wedding where daughters make a vow to their dad that they will remain "pure" until they're married. Some of it's "traditions" include those very similar to a wedding including a father/daughter dance, a white dress, and a cake...I'm not sure if Daddy and lil' Suzy are feeding each other the cake though...can we say, "CREEPY!" enough? And lame! And waaaayyyy hypocritical! Why in the world would someone pledge their virginity to the sluttiest people around (aka men)? Furthermore, I see no one really gives a damn if their adolescent son goes out and gets laid a billion times, which leads me to my next question. If the sons are not pledging their virginity, then they're free to roam the ass trail. Now, if all the daughters' flowers are locked up in their weirdo dad's humidor or something then who is left for the sons to bang? You guessed it! The married women! So I hope the dads don't get pissed when their neighbor's son is getting more than a cup of sugar from their wife.
Lastly, is this really all today's daughters have to pledge? How about throwing a "Don't be Completely Useless" Ball where daughters promise their dads that they will try to do well in school and discover a satisfying (and hopefully lucrative) career so that they can be independent and not make awful husband choices because they can't support themselves. Perhaps that would be a little more worthy of celebrating.
Oh! And here's the kicker, in stride with the government programs that fund promoting abstinence, many of these "Purity" Balls have been subsidized with federal funding. I swear, if I find out that even a single one of these Purity Ball Queen's hymen has gone missing, I'm asking for some kind of repayment of my precious tax dollars!
3 comments:
Ick.
Spot on and this line made me laugh out loud "Don't be Completely Useless"! Thank you Office Raider!
I find it disturbing that our government is helping fund these purity balls. Many of the churches promoting this stuff are Reconstructionist denominations. Reconstructionists follow the teachings of John Rousas Rushdoony and Gary North, and their goal is to eventually take over America and install their brand of faith as the state religion.
Here are a couple of websites that will show you what these folks really believe:
http://0rz.com/?vDVsP
http://0rz.com/?vcDYg
http://0rz.com/?NsCrB
And, here is a link for VisionForum, a HUGE promoter of the Purity Ball concept and one of America's leading homeschooling curriculum companies. VisionForum is run by Doug Phillips, son of ex-Reagan cabinet member Howard Phillips and pastor of Boerne Christian Assembly, a hyper-patriarchal Reconstructionist congregation where women are relegated to virtual slavery in their own homes, denied higher education, are not permitted to participate in prayer in the church services, make prayer requests in church, or even receive communion unless it is served to them by their husband or another male member of the congregation.
http://www.visionforum.com/
The Phillipses are quite the father and son team, too -- Howard Phillips is the founder of the Constitution Party, whose 2004 presidential nominee was League of the South member Michael Peroutka. While the Constitution Party courted the votes of the League of the South (identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center) and other neoConfederate groups in 2004, Howard's son, Pastor Doug, was hard at work garnering the Christian vote, encouraging his congregation to vote for Peroutka and warning them that they were not spiritually "at liberty" to vote for the Bush or Kerry because of their unBiblical stances on key issues.
And our government is funding father-daughter dinner dances for these groups. Sweet.
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