Movin' on Up...to the West Side

I want to take this moment to thank our wonderful officetan readers for their readership and comments. It really makes the Office Clan's day. If there was no one to read officetan than we wouldn't have been inspired to scan the crap that was on our refrigerator to show the world wide web that we've decided to try to become fancier adults. Fancy adults don't put things that only they find funny on their refrigerator. In fact, super fancy adults probably don't put anything on their fridge. However, during the front-of-the-fridge reform we realized that there were a lot more areas that needed improvement. How about the soap dish in the shower? I'm not talking one that we put in there, I'm talking the permanent one that looks like some kind of ectopic pregnancy of the wall made of tub material, it fell off the wall for no reason and shattered in the tub, late at night no less. Why do things always have to fall or break in the middle of the night? Is it imperative that not only must one suffer the loss of an item that has lost it's function but also have the shi% scared out of them? And it doesn't stop with the soap dish. One time Office Knight's floor swelled up. Yes, it swelled, to a point, a point that would make it IMPOSSIBLE to have a platonic friend over on the aerobed. Every summer, our air conditioner doesn't really work, it will either do nothing, shoot out cold clammy air or breathe gross hot breath all over us in the already sweltering NYC summer heat. Not to mention, that running our air conditioner was like using our checking accounts as a disposable hand fan. Blunder after blunder it started to become clear that this was not about the refrigerator, the floors, the bathroom, it was the apartment. So we decided to move. We're moving. The Officetan Headquarters is moving to the West Side. Thank you all for helping us come to this important realization.