Friday, May 04, 2007

Affronted by an Electronic


I want to know who is in charge of giving certain electronic memos their shitty ass personalities. For example, today as I was gabbing away cheerfully on my cell phone when the battery died. First a silence and of course like a douche bag I'm like, "Hello? Hello? Hello?" Finally, I catch on and look at my phone only to see some bitchy butterfly go fluttering by and the words "GOODBYE" flash across my screen. Could this possibly be necessary? I really felt I was being mocked. It's not a "good" bye actually. I just hung up on someone and now I'm 2007's version of stranded. Another obnoxious one is that woman who says "The number you've just dialed is not valid. Please check the number and dial it again." Let's not sugar coat it: you know she wants to say, "WRONG! Your tubby fingers clearly just dialed the wrong number. How 'bout you try wiping the pizza grease off, fat ass, before you try calling your stupid friend." I wish our electronics would offer this kind of candor. Perhaps when dealing with the voice automated ho it would be more fulfilling if she would say "stop mumbling asshole," vs. "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Please try saying that key word again." Oh and what's up with zero not being the fool proof method of getting a real person on the phone when calling for customer service? Anyway, for those of you that like nice weather enjoy your weekend because it's gonna be AWESOME out. Happy Cinco De Mayo!

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