Have you ever contemplated getting a body wrap? This is a spa service where one is wrapped up like a burrito after they're basted in a moisturizing, exfoliating preparation. I tried one just this past weekend and I must say not as invigorating as I imagined. After numerous weekends away from home, my inner mommy-dearest demanded that I stay in and relax. I was gonna get a massage (a normal one, perves) but nooooooo, seduced by the menu of exotic treatments, I chose the "Slimming" body wrap. Why? Not sure. This was my first trip to this spa as well. It will rename nameless, I'm hardly qualified to be a spa critic. The spa was different. Not really a vision of relaxation as it was crammed with people and decorating and cleaning was hardly high on their list of priorities. I found this "spa" on spafinder.com. It had good customer reviews. No one cared to mention even in a PC way, such as "no frills," that this place was, well, not so glamorous? Think Coming to America barber shop as the structural setting. Before anyone decides that I'm a carrier of some gross beauty parlor disease, I will preface that it seemed sanitary. So I go up to this room where I find a pair of disposable panties. I begin to undress, as instructed, only to be barged in on by another woman who wants to explain to me that I should put the toilet paper panties on. Thanks. I'll spare you every step, all you need to know is that some black mud was smeared on my entire body with what appeared to be an actual paint brush and then I was wrapped up in a silver space blanket (aka tinfoil) like a glow worm. I was then left to sweat my ass off on a massage table that was encased with an electric blanket for an indefinite period of time. It was kinda nice. Oh, except for the part where I was barged in on two other times by various staff. I would've waived but I couldn't.
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