Office Tan: noun
1: a pasty and unattractive color imparted to the skin by lengthy exposure to crappy office lighting
2: a blog that documents the endlessly glamorous and exciting life of the office worker
Monday, February 26, 2007
Breaking News: Sororities really do BLOW
Unfortunately I must take a break from the zany, day-brightening humor that I prefer to turn out to the millions (or 50) faithful readers of Officetan to rub my forefingers together and say "SHAME!" Shame on sororities! Apparently one of the Sorority's National Office/Chapter/Bitch Headquarters (whatever it's called) relieved 23 "sisters" from their sisterly duties at Delta Z for lack of commitment to demonstrating the values of the sorority (these aren't the exact words). Coincidently, these 23 "sisters" included those that were not-so-slender as well as the only black, Korean and one other non-white member in the ENTIRE sorority. Somebody pinch me, what year is it again? Thank goodness they got rid of these hooligans so that the others can continue to focus on coiffing their hair, growing their shoe collection, analyzing their one-night stands and counting their calories in peace. Oh! And we musn't forget that these are all very difficult things to do when you're trying to masquerade such important activities as community service. I know I'm stereotyping, I'm really not interested in being the "bigger" person here (we know how they feel about big people anyway). Many decent ladies have joined sororities just as a way to meet people. Let's not exercise such foolish logic any longer. Collectively (based on the behaviors of its leadership) these are hardly the type of people one needs to meet. Is it really that hard to come by a flock of friends at school that all enjoy getting dolled up, hooking up with undeserving boys, shopping and gossip? Probably not. And as an added bonus, if you find a group of friends on your own, it's completely free and there are no weigh-ins, essays, or ethnic background requirements. What a steal!
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3 comments:
Oh man!! I looked this story up on New York Times...absolutely sick!
Yeah...it's lame.
quite frankly, that's beyond the beyonds. great investigative reporting of social pressing issues office raider. where you find that hot green helmet?
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