Officetan Inspiration: Susan is NOT Lazy

It dawned on me not too long ago that most Americans are brought up to strive for mastering a skill or possessing a strength that is most daunting and least likely for them. Expressions like pull yourself up by your bootstraps arise from this M.O. Chasing one's dream fits into this notion as well. What's wrong with snatching up the "dream" that fell in your lap? One of the first motivational quotes I found doing a quick google search whilst composing this intellectually stimulating blog was:

It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Facing "challenges" is one of the best ways to sift out your strengths, for sure. Pursuing areas that intimidate is important as well. However, how many of us have dismissed the accomplishment of succeeding at something that was easy? A common household serving utility is a perfect metaphor for this ubiquitous value: The Lazy Susan. For those of you who may not know, a lazy Susan is a serving centerpiece that swivels 360 degrees so that one can reach the snacks on all sides of the dish with a simple turn. I suppose it would be more admirable to have to lean over the table and potentially risk catching your hair or bosom or both on fire from a decorative candle? Note: Lazy Susans are usually used at parties so they're definitely candles. How about calling this handy piece The Awesome Susan? Why must we condemn those that work smarter not harder? From this moment forward I want everyone (including myself) to not apologize for picking the major in college where they knew they could do the least amount of work and get the highest GPA. No more minimizing the success of getting into a profession whose door was opened by a parent or a friend. And for Pete's sake, let's no longer dismiss our superiority in an area because we "have been doing it forever." I think that's a pretty damn good reason to be a cut above the rest. Here's a quote that I enjoy a little more than that Ralph guy above who's middle name is the same as that damn animated nerdy guy that most of us have wasted countless minutes of our lives on to find him in a sea of other douche bags that dress like him (ehem...Waldo).

The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do, well.

Henry W. Longfellow

"There are NO Books in Johnny's Room"

Hi there! Did you know that the blog is a little over a year old now? If you subtract the inactive moments I guess then it's really not our birthday but we're celebrating it anyway. Anyway, what awoke us (or me) from the creativity coma? Men's Health Magazine. There was an article on how to figure out if someone is a good match based on some aspects of their apartment. First off, clearly this was not written with New Yorker's in mind. Unless your W-2 has like eight figures on it, your apartment is not a fair representation of your awesomeness or lack there of. Naturally, when I saw the title of this article I immediately skipped past all the cologne and car ads to this important piece of journalism. I needed to know. I needed to know if my distinguished dwelling was communicating something unfavorable about me that was entirely false...or even worse...true. Well, not surprisingly, there weren't really any earth shattering parallels drawn. In fact some of them just sounded made up because some one's deadline was approaching. For example, it said that people who had a lot of candles in their apartment are typically adventurous. Ok. Maybe but how do we know they're not a neurotic environmentalist that tries to use as little electricity as possible? A nice idea in theory. But I'm sure that would be really annoying to be around. Or even worse, they're majorly cheap. There was also the typical reference to the book collection. Ummm...not fair. I think to toss out a romantic prospect because they had Jose Conseco's book or something might be a little judgemental. However the presence of self help books pertaining to unpleasant conditions or dispositions are certainly grounds for dismissal. If you see books regarding Anger Management, debilitating self esteem issues, Idiot's guide to Halitosis or books about getting "rich" doing something really dumb like selling thigh masters out of your garage you've got my vote to head for the hills. Besides, someone should know that those books should at least be hidden or stored off sight anyway. This did raise a concern for me, however. What if you don't have really any books displayed? Does anyone remember the scathing comment about Johnny Castle not having any books in his room as a way of suggesting that he wasn't so bright? Office Knight and I have books, but they were tossed into a coffin size leather ottoman that doubles as a coffee table.

One part did really resonate with me, though. It said that it could be troublesome if some one's alarm clock is more than 10 minutes fast. And didn't elaborate on why. I'm guessing something to do with assuming the person is disorganized or undisciplined. Frankly, I don't think someone should really give a damn if I prefer to "trick" my half-asleep self. Especially if it results in something positive like punctuality. Wouldn't one rather have their significant other wasting their trickery skills on themselves than on them. Obviously, my alarm clock is set more than 10 minutes fast.

Lastly, it mentioned that if the person has a lot of pictures displayed in their apartment where they're in the center of the photograph that they are probably narcissistic. What's wrong with a little narcissism? You're telling me every soccer goalie is conceited? Besides, narcissistic people are usually really good at a lot of stuff and very aesthetically pleasing. Anyway, I gotta go. I gotta go get some candles, a book shelf, re-set my clock, and find some pictures where I flank the group or maybe I'm just plain not in.