Saturday, June 27, 2009

Conspiracy ALERT- Facebook FORCES Me to Shop...Kinda


Today I decided to take a stroll outside since it wasn't raining...this was a first since 1872 for New Yorkers so I had to seize the moment. By default, to avoid thinking stressful or important thoughts, I enjoy "daydreaming" about my wardrobe. I essentially get lost in a virtual inventory of my closet. I like to catalog all the upcoming activities I have on the horizon and which outfits would correspond appropriately. I'm a deep thinker. Sadly, each time I thought of a potential winning ensemble, I would remember, fu*k me! There's a picture of me wearing that on Facebook! I don't want everyone to be like, "There she is again in that damn polka-dot bustier!" Sadly this logic fails to recognize that I wish "everyone" was browsing my profile let along with such scrutiny. But that's really not the point. Facebook has essentially given us all the ability to be our own paparazzi. Sometimes, unfortunately, others do it on our behalves too...the dreaded tagged photo of you looking like a$$...

"How long has that been up for? I hope my crush didn't see that keg-stand photo where my shirt's around my neck, wearing a full coverage nude bra and my stomach looking like an un-baked grands biscuit!" This scenario alone, merits the need for a blackberry or i-phone if for no other reason. Anyho, as my wardrobe dwindled down to the only few options that remain with tags on it ("Hi my name's Toolbox and I'm a shopaholic..."Hi Toolbox.") I started wondering if I had time to go shopping today because clearly I HAVE NO CLOTHES!! Then I made a deal that first I must do some work and then I'm allowed to go shopping and that's how we arrived at this present moment, still procrastinating from doing work, but taking a stand against the fabricated need to consume created by Facebook! So I'm hear to admit something terrifying: I repeat outfits. I'm not deleting photos to try to obscure this unfortunate truth...just deal with it. I'm hear, I'm trying to be more thrifty, get used to it.