So...it's been brought to my attention by a digital media master mind (hint: twitter.com/kcavery) that I am struggling with my online brand identity. This is due to the hefty (albeit self imposed) constraints that are placed upon me by the folks that own my soul in the corporate world. If someone would sponsor MY foundation for MY better life I would be able to share tons of interesting factoids about myself and my escapades as an incredibly enthralling human (teaser alert...should I put a link to my paypal account?). One thing that Kcavery has informed me of that has made me feel extremely nervous is that the interface upon which this very blog resides is the blogosphere equivalent to myspace... aka my blog is not fancy and advance and needs to be migrated "on up" a la the Jeffersons. So stay tuned to as Officetan maybe having a yard sale and packing it in as it searches for new, hipper digs because it's now immensely embarrassed. Similarly, its author finds herself in the same predicament as she hunts for a new nest not in the Hudson River.
In the meantime, I'd like to share with my devoted readership what I've been spending a lot of my time thinking about -peacocking- and not because I am the off-spring of a zoo luminary or because my proverbial biological clock is ticking (that's so 80's).
Urban dictionary: Peacocking means dressing for attention. Just like Peacock's use their feathers to get a mate.
I'd like to point out that their definition is quite limited because pretty much by default being a dame is basically a 24 hour peacocking existence. Let's review:
-Large poofs of hair: styled and dyed in a number of different ways on any given day- peacocking
-Impractical footwear: Walking on needles can only serve one purpose- peacocking
-Inappropriate hemlines: We can see your be@ver. Peacocking
- Makeup: are those dead spiders on your eyelids or you just trying to impress me?? Peacocking
- Questionable underoos: Thongs- a purposeful and attractive wedgie to prevent the dreaded VPL (visible panty lines); Push Up Bras- let's strap a pull out couch to our chests to lure men folk and exacerbate our scoliosis. PEA-EFFIN- COCKING
- Nail "Flair:" This can vary but some believe that having holiday themed decals or especially long, neon colored nails are a nice idea. Need I say more?
...As a result, it is no longer sufficient for us lady folk to just exist in our bizarre costume-like attire and weaves to lure in prospective suitors so I've been brainstorming other peacocking methods and will post about those in the near future.
(Disclaimer: This post is laden with stereotypes. Don't get, like, pissed)
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