A report from the new Office Clan headquarters

Our new apartment makes us so happy. It's a million times better than our old place which made us feel like we were living in an unimportant cave. However, nonsense follows the Office Clan wherever we go and a new address can't change that. Following are a few episodes that have taken place in the short 9 days since we began our new lives.

1. I brought my old lady grocery cart with me just in case I wanted to wheel my clothes to a laundromat. Office Raider and I promptly agreed that the old lady cart had to be stowed outside the apartment door so it didn't ruin our new ambience. Within 24 hours, someone stole it. Suspicious. I think it was one of my sticky-fingered senior citizen neighbors. I promptly posted a sign to request it's safe return and surprise, it was returned in the night. So I left the cart outside the door again (still didn't want it to ruin the ambience) and it got taken...again. I've posted another sign but I'm afraid it's a permanent captive now in an AARP member's home. I guess that's what happens when one owns an extremely valuable grocery cart.

2. Office Raider stirred me one evening from my important thinking to report that her radiator was breathing scalding steam all over her room. I marched in to the assess the situation (I'm a trained plumber) and nearly had my face melted off as I tried to clamp the heat valve shut--but unfortunately there was nothing I could do. The radiator valve was broken (I was too weak). Fearing that the whole apartment was going to be steamed into ruins, we called FDNY, who sped over and rescued us and shut off the valve. They rock and are great at shutting off radiator valves.

3. And to conclude today's adventure log, I'd like to report that Office Raider has transformed herself into a bilingual construction foreman. While we are very excited that our apartment is renovated, when we arrived we noticed that some of the work had not been completed--like the shower. Office Raider assigned herself to take a day off from work to supervise the construction by shouting various Spanish commands that she learned during her days as the star of her AP Spanish class.

Over and out,

Office M. Knight