Office Raider Sees the "White Light"

Pinkberry. It's the new craze. It's a frozen yogurt chain that started in LA...I think. Accurate facts are immaterial to this story. The premise of these new treateries that are popping up all over NYC is that usually frozen yogurt never tastes like yogurt. I've noticed this, actually, good for them for tackling this dire, un-met need. Pinkberry has only two flavors, "plain" and green-tea. You can add to either flavor a variety of simply awesome toppings like Captain Crunch, Fruity Pebbles, Cocoa pebbles and your usual suspects, like sprinkles. Sprinkles suck, by the way. If you scroll through the pages of any gossip blog or flip through an US weekly you will see some stick figure with horrendous, 30" diameter sunglasses walking with a cup of Pinkberry. Being the esteemed journalist that I am, I set out to try this Pinkberry. It was great. However, I have to question a dessert product that makes people behave like whack jobs. It was awful...the line was long. Shorter people were on their tippy-toes trying to steal a glimpse of the toppings bar which might as well have been a mirage. Pedestrian tailgating was at an all time high. In fact, some one's purse was rubbing up against the butt and I had to turn around to make sure I wasn't being felt up like a mango before it's purchased at a farmer's market. As I approached the cashier ready to place an order for me and my friend (who was kicked out because of her dog) I hear someone call my name. I turn around only to be embraced by two python sized, tattooed arms that belong to my ingenious hairdresser, Stephen! Little did I know, Pinkberry is no place for hugging. I'm hardly exaggerating, no really, hardly, when I say that a riot practically broke out as it was my turn to place an order. I really shouldn't be surprised, though. I mean I deserve to practically get publicly flogged for delaying some one's precious Pinkberry experience by a mere 1.4 nano-seconds. If this is how people are going to behave, then I think the FDA seriously needs to consider making it a controlled substance, I could have been killed. No, it's okay...I'm fine.