Friday, February 26, 2010

Office Lingo: DECODED


Let's take that off-line: SHUT UP!

Low hanging fruit: easy crap

Re-structuring: your ass is getting fired

Sensitivity training: we know everyone never really grows up and the subject matter of a particular facet of our business will be a generous source of dirty jokes so we have to attempt to remind our workforce to pretend to be mature.

Team building:
seeing your colleagues in their gross sneakers

Taking it to the next level: doing the same nonsense that you did before and hyping it up to sound really important

Face Time: when someone checks their email, manages their personal finance, bids on some stuff on ebay, prices trips they're not taking any time soon, googles a new flame and IM's with all their foolish friends doing the same thing at either absurdly early or late hours to look really devoted and serious

Same Net-Net: a response delivered when your idea or comment contributed nothing

Associate (TITLE): You've just been given extra work for which you are not being paid

Now we're cookin' with gas: A really, really, REALLY LAME way of saying good job

Opportunities for Development: areas that you suck at

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't forget my all-time favorites:

"Shift the paradigm"

"leverage the resources"

and...

"circle the wagons"

clindsay said...

and "zeitgeist"...and "regroup" and "thinking outside the box" and "own your [insert thing here]" and "stepping up" and ...

sigh...