Guest Blogger: Jen Cats

Moment of Realization
by Jen Cats

Last year on April Fools Day, my colleagues pitched in to hire this guy to dress up as a pink bunny rabbit and sing to one of the attorneys on my floor. Nobody tells me anything, so the only reason I knew about this was because they needed me. I got a mention in the emails preceding the event:

HEY GUYS!
WE HIRED A PINK BUNNY TO SING TO BILL. HE SHOULD BE HERE AROUND 4! JEN, CALL ME WHEN HE GETS HERE, OKAY?

HEY GUYS!
THE BUNNY IS ON HIS WAY! JEN, CAN YOU CALL ME WHEN HE GETS TO THE SECURITY DESK?


The pink bunny walked in, or should I say, the brown-ish, rose-ish, mangy beast flopped in and was escorted by his contact person, a young, low-ranking paralegal that sits a few desks away from me. She awkwardly half-smiled, and gave a look that seemed to say, "This could be cool if I wasn't me and we weren't at work and this wasn't happening." Her embarrassment was totally justifiable. She looked like a tool.

HEY GUYS!
THE BUNNY IS HERE! EVERYONE MEET AT BILL'S OFFICE NOW!!!

Did I want to see the bunny? Hell, yes. I can't lie to you. I wanted to see a man in a bunny costume singing to a man in a Brooks Brothers suit, and why? Because I love a good freak show.

From my desk, I could hear everyone laughing and clapping and the muffled, throaty sounds of "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow" at an alarmingly fast tempo. I got out of my seat and turned the corner in an attempt to witness the freak show that was Bill's office April Fools surprise. The laughs and clapping had petered out by now. The initial glee was over and the smoker's rendition of "Happy Birthday" had started. (By the way, It wasn't Bill's birthday. That may have been the only funny part of this ill-executed show.) Bunny's singing voice had become more of growl, and as I walked closer, I could see him waving his dirty catcher's mitt-paws and half-heartedly hopping from one leg to the other. Bunny's ears were semi-erect, and waving from side to side, occasionally whipping Bill on the side of the head. Bill's smile was plastic and forced. My coworkers now watched in an open-mouthed trance, occasionally letting loose a "hah", but mostly wincing.

As soon as Bunny snarled out the last "happy birthday to you" he pushed past the crowd that had assembled at Bill's door and ran down the hall for the single-seater bathrooms. The whole thing took less than 45 seconds and probably cost $100. What a racket.

I went back to my seat pondering it all. About 2 minutes later, a short, young, Italian-looking guy with some serious stubble, and mess of curly, oily hair atop his head darted past me carrying a huge black duffle bag, a narrow brown-pink ear waving from its opening.


Regrettably, since then, I've figured out that it was the last truly exciting thing that happened at work.

*siiiiiiiiigh*


If you hear of any jobs out there, let me know...