Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Owfice Fleas



yes, you guessed it. my office has fleas. and not as in the flea to the left...though that would certainly be a more welcome breed of flea. or perhaps a more entertaining breed of flea. anyway, the flea fiasco began when my office neighbor phillis claimed she spotted a flea on her bench memo. this was allegedly confirmed by the office secretary, aka "office mom", cheryl. i should also note that this office is comprised of small group of attorneys that have been annexed from the main firm headquarters, aka "the mother ship." as a result, everyone relegated to the annex is deeply bitter and resentful. It is for this reason that i sincerely doubted the truth to the flea story. that is until i spotted what could only be described as a flea like insect..or perhaps a fruit fly, no maybe a small piece of airborne lint on my knee. at any rate, its presence provoked a high pitched squeal from me. this then incited a small riot in the hall way in which outraged attorneys expressed their utter disgust and dismay at what we are being forced to endure. barbaric indeed. judy, the mousiest of the bunched then revealed, "you're not gonna believe this, but i have flea bites awl ova my body." GASP! we all shook our heads. as a result, our little satellite office must be fumigated. in the mean time, secretly everyone is psyched because it's really much more fun to bitch about fleas and how you can't even get any work done..than actually having to do work.
-Owfice Burn

3 comments:

VP said...

Dear Office Tan,

Today my boss took the newspaper right off of my desk (without asking), brought it into the men's room ( where he was for about 15 minutes) and then never brought it back!

Yes, it was my free Metro, but I wanted to read it. He didnt ask, and while I'm glad he didnt put the paper back on my desk, I would at least expect him to acknowledge that he took it!

Do you have any words of advice? Please Help!

Yours Truly,
Pissed about my poopy paper

clindsay said...

I disapprove of the paper-stealing-boss!!!

I am willling to poke him with a sharp stick if you want!

OwfiCe BuRN said...

Dearest "Pissed about my poopy paper",

That is wrong. damn wrong.

Regards,

Owfice Burn