true story

owfice burn walked into a neighborhood bodega late the other night on her way back from the bar. owfice burn somehow miraculously recalled that she was running low on toilet paper and did the responsible adult thing by replenishing. she was handsomely rewarded by the good lord. she encountered an irate customer who standing up for his consumer rights (must have read office knights many customer complaint blogs). apparently he was sold an expired condom from the chinese immigrant shopkeep who's english was pretty much limited to "no refund fo you." owfice burn was first clutching her toilet paper, fearing that someone was going to get shot over this little dispute. then...the customer whips out his cell phone threatening, "if you don't facking give me my muny back i am facking cawling the cops!!" "no refund for you" owfice burn is watching this escalate with great interest. "HAllo, i would like to report an amergency,the amergency is located at..where you at?.."OK the emergency is at 5th and Garfield." "Yes i was sold an expiued condom." The stor is cawled: organic grocery. fruit. dot. vegetable. dot. beverages. dot ciggarettes dot" the man is now walking along reading every single item listed on the auning to the 911 operator." Owfice burn and the remaining customers in the shop comment quietly among themselves, "I don't think I would classify this as an emergency. you? no..You..No I am out of toilet paper. That is an emrgency.. i agree."
true story..though i did not stick around for the arrival of law enforcement.