Death by Sex and Chocolate!! Sad but true story

While I was raiding offices today I ducked into one of my more favorite offices in Chelsea where each and every time I visit I end up spending 45 minutes hob-knobing with one of the best New Yorkers I've ever met. Normally when I walk in I'm greeted with hugs but today was different. When I walked in there was another office raider from another company sitting there and the office staff was unusually mum. I've met this fellow office raider before and he always struck me a tad too wired with undue enthusiasm. Let's call him Hoppy. Well...Hoppy shared with the patrons and myself that today was the 1 year anniversary of his dog's death. I sympathized with him. Fortunately now he has a new dog and claims he gave her all sorts of gifts today in attempts to bribe the dog from dying on him like his last dog who died "suddenly." I see the usually jovial staff sort of sneer as they listen to Hoppy share this sad account. Hoppy leaves the building and this is when I'm briefed on how the last dog really died.
Hoppy went out on the town in pursuit of a nice male companion as he often does. Awesome New Yorker shares with me that while Hoppy works his magic he's often been overheard saying "Gee I should really get home to walk my dog." Hence setting up what seems to be like a history of dog neglect. Apparently the demise of this dog came to be the fateful night Hoppy found himself a suitable companion to invite back to his probably equally annoying dwelling. According to Awesome New Yorker, the dog was visibly ill and vomiting because he had gotten into some chocolate to which he was allergic. Unfortunately, Hoppy, in the throws of passion, decided that he needed to get his "swerve" on before tending to his ill K9. By the time this newly formed union finished the freak nasty the dog was beyond help and with the dog angels. When Awesome New Yorker got wind that Hoppy got a new pup he was so enthralled he contacted the ASPCA! They were not able to substantiate the story and Hoppy will never be the wiser. Moral of the story: don't choose sex over man's best friend, it just ain't right and it makes people hate you.