Jo Burn and sister Cath and I recently got into a bit of a tangle over the appropriate safety precawtion to undertake when one experiences a flat tire in a “dangerous” neighborhood.
Jo: Hey listen, I read an e-mail letta that someone in the owfice sent me. Its impow-tant. A police officah sent it. It said you should neva stay in ya cah (car) if it breaks down, becaws that’s exactly where the murderuh’s ah gonna look.
Me: I don’t understand. If your car breaks down, and you’re in a bad neighborhood, where are you going to go that’s safer?? Why wouldn’t you just lock the door and call the tow truck or the police?
Jo: BECAWS…while ya sitting theah, cawlin…they’ll be watchin..and then they’ll bust through the winda, and do Gahd knows what!!!
Me: SOOOO, I don’t understand….where else are you going to go??
Jo: The BUSHES!! You hide in the bushes. The’ll neva know you’re thea. You make the phone cawl from the bushes.
Cath: (hands flailing) Fuhgetit Jo, I’m drivin on the damn flat tiuh (tire) till I find a ghas (gas) station. I don’t care if I ruin the damn cah (car) or tiah or whateva!!
Jo: (hands flailing even more) NONONONONO! CATH! What if you CAN’T drive the cah anymoa. Then you GOTTA hide in the bushes! Undastand??
Cath: Fuget the bushes!
Me: Yea, FUGET THE BUSHES!
--Owfice Burn
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