'Tis the Season

'Tis the season! 'Tis the season to find oneself in overcrowded retail environments filled with aggressive patrons hustling around for the "perfect" (aka cheap but looks expensive) gift for their loved ones, not-so-loved ones, co-workers, bosses, neighbors and last-minute-reciprocal gifts from those random, unexpected acquaintances. 'Tis the season to receive your 800th 4-oz bottle of Bath and Body Works shower gel in a fruit scented variety that doesn't truly exist in nature. 'Tis the season to thank the deity of your choice for overdraft protection. And finally 'tis the season to start formulating next years new year's resolutions...HINT: if the same resolution keeps appearing at the top of your list since the 80's you might wanna hang it up...It's not really panning out. Maybe take the reverse psychology route:
"Who cares if I save at least $15k this year?"
"Why would I wanna drop these 10 beautiful pounds?"
"Does it really matter that I'm pushing 30 and still can't make the time to call my grandparents at least once a quarter?"
"I'm really not seeing the value in donating to charity."
"Renting forever is the best way to secure wealth!"
"Volunteering makes absolutely no sense...I know a large corporation that is willing to pay me oodles for my precious time."
"Why would I dream of beginning to collect pieces that would make my dwelling not appear as though a college freshman decorated it?"
"Why should I try to enhance my culinary skills when those delicious, short order Asian Bistros have delivered many fine meals, in a timely fashion, I might add."
And finally...
"Why in the world would I want to get more education and have additional pesky letters following around the enchanting cluster of characters that spell my name?"

In short my new year's resolution is to not change a damn thing...Let's hope irony take over.