It's happening again...Writers' block or should we call it bloggers block? Ewww...that's gross. So I'm thinking what can I write about? Do I tell everyone about how tonight I thought my Grandma tried to kiss me? Riveting, I know, but you had to be there. So I took a moment to peruse the "Odd News" section on Yahoo in hopes that it would give me some inspiration. Boy, they sure aren't kidding when they say it's "odd." Ooooohhh an abstract of odd news, how clever. So here are some stories that caught my eye:
LILLINGTON, N.C. - A woman attacked a man in his genitals during a Christmas party, injuring him badly enough that he needed 50 stitches
My important commentary: First of all...sounds like the WORST party EVER! It also notes that this party was at the man's girlfriend's house. Soooo who is this penis-knapping woman? Sounds like, YET ANOTHER, affair gone awry. And what's up with the awkward sentence...attacked a man in his genitals? Huh? Did she crawl in there and start tearing shi% up? I think attacked a man's genitals would have sufficed. Moral: don't invite the "other woman" to the Christmas Party...geeze!
BERLIN (Reuters Life!) - Berlin police said on Wednesday they had rescued a motorist who ended up wedged upside down in a drain after trying to retrieve car keys he had dropped.
My important commentary: For the love of God...call a locksmith or something. He must have been kinda embarrassed. Oh! And I love the word motorist which makes anyone who drives a car sound like they have a really fancy skill set.
BERLIN (Reuters) - German police arrested a man for drunk driving after he mistook a police spot check for a breakdown and stopped to help.
My important commentary: Honestly...that rocks!
BERLIN (Reuters) - A thirsty German sold his 6-year-old step-daughter's pet beagle to the owner of a bar to pay for beer, the Bild newspaper reported Friday.
My important commentary: Uh-oh, can we say "BAD DAD ALERT," and for beer, no less...SHAME! Can some celebrity go adopt this man's six year old daughter and get her another damn dog?
One final thought...three out of four of these stories came out of Berlin. I'm seeing a pattern here. If you have any plans to travel to Berlin soon I would advise against it, it seems like their problem solving skills are lacking...Certainly not in originality though. Of course the really
fuc%ed up one came out of good ole' North Carolina.
Happy New Years! What's up with Auld Lang Syne? Does anyone really know the words?
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