A Very Important Research Report from Office Tan

Besides being a source of inspiration for your life in the office, we, at Office Tan, strive to bring you cutting edge research reports on employment. Today, we are releasing an in-depth study that we have conducted called, “Jobs Where You Get to Yell at People”. If yelling at people is your passion, then turn your passion into your profession with one of these jobs. The top 4 jobs include…

4. Post office worker (urban areas only) – if you really like yelling at people, start this job during the holiday season. I was there yesterday and it was a zoo with numerous opportunities for yelling at people. There were TWO employees berating an old and frail woman for putting Express Mail tape on her Priority Mail package. I know, I couldn’t believe that someone would make that mistake either. In rural areas like Kentucky, these jobs are not suitable for yeller-at-ers. You’ll see maybe one customer per day and that person will probably be your neighbor. Yelling at your neighbor (who probably owns a shotgun)=not a good idea.

3. DMV worker – same idea as the post office AND unlike the post office where dissatisfied customers can go to FedEx or UPS, there are no alternatives to the DMV for driving stuff. So you really can yell at a bunch of people and they won’t leave.

2. Traffic cop – This one is dedicated to Owfice Burn who takes great delight in observing traffic cop rage during her daily commute over the Brooklyn Bridge. Owfice Burn conducted this study and reports that traffic cops will sometimes chase your car and bang on it if you miss one of their hand signals. So maybe this job is most suitable for people who are passionate about chasing cars…and banging on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE JOB FOR YELLING AT PEOPLE IS…

1. Military drill instructor – Office Raider and I each attended a military boot camp one summer during our college years. If you get this job, you will go to SCHOOL to learn how to yell at new recruits. I was yelled at often for allegedly smiling when I was supposed to be practicing my stern military face, allegedly looking like a boy (whoops!) and for (not allegedly) “sucking” at everything. With this job, you are permitted to tell all recruits at all times that they “suck”. Is that your passion? Then credit Office Tan with revealing the key to a rewarding career path.