Bones

I am pissed off at Hickory Farms. Yep, I am. I found another bone in my Hickory Farms andouille sausage. I want to write them a letter to tell them that I hate that they sold me sausages with bones but Office Raider tells me that I’m going to get “locked up” if I keep writing weird customer complaint letters. But what if I do it anyway? What if I write to Hickory Farms to tell them that I hate their boney sausages? How would I tell them?

Dear Hickory Farms,

Another day, another bone in one of my Hickory Farms sausages. Why do you sell me sausages with bones in them? Have I done something to make you think that I like sausages with bones in them? Because I don’t.

If I did want andouille sausages with bones in them, I would expect that I could select a package that would say, “includes bones” or “includes tasty bones” or “includes farm-fresh bones”, however you might say it. This package did not mention bones.

Please stop feeding me bones for dinner. As I said, I don’t like them.

Sincerely,

Office Knight