Today my mobile office didn't start...aka my not-so-well built American made company vehicle. This is certainly understandable since it is pushing 2 years old...NOT. Yup, I said, NOT. Anyhoo, I had to wait in my unheated car for roadside assistance and during that time I had a chance to ponder some questions that you, the sophisticated readers of Office Tan, may want to mull over as well.
Why does my Duane Reade pharmacist have no teeth?
I wonder if the woman that was wearing a cow costume when I almost ran her over is still mad at me?
Why has the cost of almost every good or service in the past 10 years gone up with the exception of the lap dance? Still $20!
Why did former president Andrew Jackson not comb his hair before his photo shoot for the twenty dollar bill?
Why has Taco Bell been generously offering up free E-Coli to poor, unsuspecting residents of Long Island and New Jersey? Is this some kind of B&T genocide dreamed up by the same people that came up with "Think outside the bun?"
Why do I see old men coming out of peep shows at 11:00am on a Tuesday? Is this the only time and place they could think of to "romance" themselves?
Why are the employees of AM New York so damn enthusiastic?
Do you think Smurfette got to hook up a lot?
How is that it took me until this year to find out that Duane Reade is an intersection in lower Manhattan and not a dude that looks like Eddie Murphy?
Did anyone else think that 1010 Wins was 1010 Winds? I did.
Ok. That's enough. By the way, Office Raider and Office Knight are two different people. I'm Office Raider.
1 comment:
I know that when I first moved to New York and my then-roommate had his goddamned radio set to 1010 Wins, I wanted to throw my shoe at it every morning.
But yeah, I also thought it was 1010winds for like a year.
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